Humor about Egypt

Darwin Award

Six people drowned trying to save the hen, which fell into the well. This incident took place in Nazlat Imara, 370 km south of Cairo. An eighteen-year-old farmer jumped into a twenty-meter well first. An underground current pulled him under the water and the farmer drowned. According to the police, his sister and two brothers, who also could not swim well, they jumped into the wells one by one, to help him, and they also drowned. After them, two older peasants rushed to help, but they too drowned. The police got out of the well 6 bodies and a hen, who survived.


Pharaoh turns to the high priest:
– How is my sacred parrot?
– She was eaten, pharaoh.
– And my holy cat?
– He was eaten too.
– And my holy cow?
– She was eaten too.
– Who ate them all?
– Your holy crocodile ate them, pharaoh.
– And how does my sacred crocodile feel??
– He died from food consumption…

The guide shows a group of Polish tourists around the Egyptian museum.
– This is Pharaoh's son, is Pharaoh's wife, there lies Pharaoh's brother, a to mumia faraona.
– Excuse me – a blonde interrupts him – and how this mummy was related to Pharaoh?

– Adu Dalah Serafi
– Sex?
– Four times a week
– No, no, no… male or female?
– Male, female… sometimes camel…

In the desert, an exhausted tourist asks Bedouin:
– How to get to Cairo?
– Straight ahead, and on Thursday to the right

Muhammed was a famous carpet expert. His friend asked him once, to get him an appraisal of the ancient carpets in his shop. For each carpet he will give Muhammed a vodka. Muhammed touches the first carpet, he closes his eyes and speaks:
– Persian, XVI century, 4000 dollars – then drinks vodka.
He touches the second carpet:
– Syamski, rare species, 5th century, 12000 dollars…
The next day Muhammed wakes up at home – all battered, with a puffy eye and asks his wife:
– Sweetheart, what happened to me yesterday?
The wife said:
– To, that yesterday you came home drunk as a hog – fine, to, that you messed up the whole hall – fine, to, that you took care of the sink – still ok, but when you lay down next to me, you touched my buttocks and mumbled “old coconut mat, 5 cents” – I couldn't stand it anymore…

Peak prostitution: To go to the Sahara desert for a handful of sand

Two well-built warriors stand in front of the Pharaoh's throne, carrying a huge stone tablet with hieroglyphs carved on it. One of them announces.
Pharaoh! The King of Babylon is sending you a postcard of your vacation in Mesopotamia!

Pharaoh Ramses XII teaches his son the art of command
– imagine: on one side a squad of Assyrians with spears rushes at you, and on the other, a herd of lions. What would you do at this point?
– I'm ashamed to say, father …

– What is the future tense from the word pharaoh?
– Mumia.

Maliniak always bragged about his work colleagues how worldly he was
man. He was showing off, that he knows different famous people. Of course, no one has him
he believed, but once upon a time Wałęsa came to their plant. He's walking across the grounds
factories, until here suddenly he saw Maliniak. He waved at him, they hugged,
kissed. Then they locked themselves in the room and knocked down a couple of beers. The guys do a little
was puzzled, but they still don't believe everything Maliniak says. Once
Bush came to Poland. Everyone is standing in the street, they wave their flags.
Bush's car drives and stops suddenly. Bush and wife get out, come up to
Maliniaka, they hug like old friends, mention some old history, w
they finally invite him to a limo and drive off to the banquet. Well, that's it
lied Maliniak's buddies, but they still don't quite believe him. Until one time
they all went on a trip to Rome, see the pope. They stand in St..
Peter and suddenly Maliniak says.
- You still don't believe me, I'll show you. I will leave with the Pope in a moment
on the balcony to bless the crowd in the square.
– Eee, you flood Maliniak.
- Then you'll see..
And he actually went somewhere, and in a moment they look, and appears on the balcony
Pope and Maliniak. It had completely extinguished them, they stand and say nothing. In some
a moment a trip of Arabs approaches them and the guide asks the broken one
– Excuse me, gentlemen, could you please tell us, what is this for the phacet of v
white smock on the balcony with Maliniak?

An Arab rides a camel through the desert, heat, The Arab is barely alive, camel
is barely alive.
Nagle – bzzzzz – the motorcyclist flashed past and disappeared onto the horizon.
The Arab reached the oasis and fell by the well. A camel fell nearby. Comes up
motorcyclist and says:
– listen man, I don't think you know, how to deal in such a heat. You are driving ZA
SLOW and that's why you are so hot. I drive fast and the rush of air is cooling me down.
Simple rule – the faster you go, the cooler it is, Try it out.
The Arab thought, he thought, He watered the camel, led him to the edge of the oasis, jumped in
at him and galloped ahead.
After ten kilometers of running, the camel turned over. Arab zlazł, watched,
kicked in the croup – camel nothing. He went to the mouth, he raised an eyelid – and here only
the protein flashed. A Aarab:
– o q….! FROZEN!

The young camel asks his father – camel:
– This, why do we have such ugly hooves, and the horses are so pretty?
– You see, we go in a caravan and that's why we have these and no other hoofs,
so as not to bury yourself up to your knees in the sand.
– This, and why do we have such an ugly one, fuzzy hair, and the ponies have one
beautiful, shiny?
– You see, we are walking in a caravan, and he is in the desert at night -10 degrees, w
day +40 degrees, and such hair protects us from such fluctuations in temperature.
– This, and why do we have these two humps on the back, and the horses are so smooth?
– You see, we walk in a caravan and store fat and in these humps
water, so as not to perish in the desert of hunger and thirst.
For all this, a young camel:
– Tato and ch.. us it all, when we live in the zoo?!

In a cafe on the outskirts of Sharm El Sheikh, two Arabs lazily sip Coca Cola.
Suddenly they see a friend driving a camel. The camel has two legs in plaster,
bandaged head and the whole body covered with dozens of patches.
– Ty – one of the Arabs asks – What Ahmed did with this pet?
– Thread. – the second answers – It is his wife who learns to steer.

A tourist in an Arab country did not have a watch, and he needed to appear at the meeting of Fr. 12. So she asks an Arab resting next to a standing camel, does not know, what time is it. He takes a stick and hits the camel on the balls with it, then says – 10.30. In some time the tourist approaches the Arabian again and asks, what time is it now, and he hits the camel on the balls with his stick again and talks, that 11.10. The third time the tourist finds out the same way, that is 11.47, he can't stand it and asks
– How can you tell that way, What time is it?
– A, because my camel's eggs are blocking the clock in that tower.

Queen Cleopatra comes to the fortuneteller and talks:
Pharaoh has neglected me a lot lately. What should I do?
– Cleopatro! You and your husband should develop common interests. What Ramses likes best?
– Young female slaves from Assyria…

During the art class, the teacher asks the student:
– Johnny, what you drew?
– Cheops pyramid during a sand storm.
– But I don't see any pyramids here, only cardboard painted yellow!
– Because the pyramid was covered with sand!

James Bond's plane crashes in the African desert. The battered one comes out of
wreckage, is looking around. He saw a camel. She comes up to him and talks: “Hello,
ty…i'm bond…James Bond”. And the camel: “And I am wrong…Camel”

Two safety pins are walking across the deserts and one is talking:
– I'm warm
to that another
-open it

Nasredin, sipping coffee, discusses death with his friends. “When
you are in your coffin and your friends and family mourn for you, What would you like
hear about yourself from them?” The first friend says: “I would like to hear, that I was the great physician of my time, and a very family man.” The second says: ” I would like to hear, that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher, which has had a huge impact on the future of our children.” When it was Nasrudin's turn, He said: “I would like to hear them say… LOOK!! HE IS MOVING!!!”

A scuba diver is walking in the desert, fins, heat is pouring down from the sky.
He meets an Arab on a camel:
– Excuse me, far to the sea?
– More than 200 km – says Arab.
– No, nice, but the beach you guys fought off!